Michael Makes an Entrance
by LK49453
Summary: What is Michael had made a different desecion when Jeremy left him at the party. What if he decided that maybe Jeremy was right. That maybe a SQUIP wouldn't be so bad. (trigger warnings will be listed in the chapters needed) (boyf riends ending) (trans!Michael)
1. Chapter 1

_TRIGGER WARNING! TALK OF SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION AND SUICIDLE THOUGHTS!_

Michael wasn't sure exactly what had just happened. All he knew was he wasn't high enough for this shit. He had meant to help Jeremy get ride of his SQUIP. Or at least help Jeremy realize that maybe it was actually bad. He had even brought one of his bottles of Mountain Dew Red. As anyone could imagine, having a panic attack and a break down in a bathroom in the middle of a popular kid's party was not at all planned. Though, Jeremy calling him a loser and shoving him to the ground wasn't exactly part of the plan either. Michael pushed himself up off the ground, trying to hold back the tears. He couldn't break down here. Not with... with _him_ still out there. Michael glanced at himself in the mirror.

"God, it's been so long since I've just been Michael in the bathroom, hasn't it?" he questioned out loud. He chuckled, but the sound held no true laughter. His eyes were red and puffy, and he still couldn't stop the tears. Oh well, he could just blame it on weed, right? After all, he was the weird, retro, always stoned _loser_ everyone always talked about. Michael laughed again, but it came out like a choking sound. He needed to get out of here now. After his face was dry of course. He couldn't help the sob that ripped through his lungs this time. He put a hand over his mouth to muffle the sounds, but anyone who was actually listening could hear the cries. Not like anyone was actually listening. All anyone could hear was that drunk girls horrible singing that would ruin Whitney Houston's music forever. Michael felt his mood drop even more when he realized the joke he was about to make wouldn't be heard by anyone. Michael took a deep breath, once again trying to stop the tears. It wasn't working, obviously. It was then Michael heard the knocks on the door. He stepped away from the door quickly, and dug his nails into his palms to distract himself from crying. His back hit the wall and he slid down, trying hard to ignore the knocks. The knocks wouldn't stop, but neither would the tears. All Michael could think about was that one word that left Jeremy's lips. It kept repeating itself over and over again. He opened his hands to release the pressure of his nails and he stood to go to the sink. He threw some water on his face to calm him, not noticing the small blood trails coming from some of the crescent shaped marks in his palm. Michael went towards the door, planning to unlock it, when he realized that the knocking must have stopped just second ago. He glanced down at his hands and cursed. He hadn't even realized that he was bleeding. It had been so long since he's actually done anything like that. Jeremy was usually there to stop him, or to at least distract him from the thoughts he had. Or, if Jeremy couldn't be there- though that was extremely rare- he usually just got high. Though Michael did do that when Jeremy was there too. But neither or those were an option now. Michael continued to stare down at the blood. It hurt like Hell, he had decided. But it felt good, in a way. It kept the pain _inside_ away, at least. And that was what he needed right now. A distraction. It was quite addicting. Michael pushed his nails into his palms again until he couldn't feel it. Then he pulled the sleeves of his shirt up a bit, and ran his nails up and down his arms unsurely. Slowly, he pushed down a little harder on his skin, until red lines were lined up and down his arms. Some were bleeding slightly, while other just glowed a nasty red. With each new skin breaking scratch, an old thought flew away. _Jeremy calling him a loser._ Gone. _He was right, of course. I am._ Gone. _Why am I even still here. Nobody cares anymore._ He stopped dragging his nails on his skin at that thought. What was he thinking? Of course people still cared about him, right? Sure, Jeremy was going through a rough patch but he still cared.

"That's just wishful thinking," Michael said aloud. "He doesn't care anymore." Michael stared at himself in the mirror. Who did he think he was? He wasn't worth anything. He was just a weirdo who couldn't be happy in his own body. Why couldn't he be normal? Michael's eyes started welling up with tears again. He wasn't sure what happened, but next thing he knew, the reflection staring back at him was shattered and his knuckles were bloody. He stared down at his glass coved hands in surprise. Had he seriously just _punched a mirror?_ How had he thought that was a good idea. Michael sighed and shook his head. He couldn't deal with that thought right now. He had to get this glass out of his hands. He searched the cabinet's for some gauze, or something to wrap his bloody hands and arms with. Michael wouldn't lie, he was grateful for the distraction right now. He found some gauze pads, ace bandages, and medical tape under the counter, and silently praised Jake on being such a huge athlete that his parent's had to be ready for anything. He quickly cleaned his hand and wrapped his arms, ignoring the thoughts trying to force their way into his mind.

 _Why are you even fighting? There's a nice big piece of glass over there. It'd be easy. You can go out with a bang and scare some poor drunk girl stuck at this lame ass party._ Michael shoved that thought out of his mind quickly, trying not to look at the large shard of glass right next to him. He had to get out of here. Now, before all of the thoughts came back. Michael tried to ignore the redness and puffiness of his eyes as he stood up and walked to the door. He took a deep breath as he opened the door and glanced out. No sign of Jeremy. Good. Michael sprinted to the front door. Before stepping out of the house though, he looked into the living room, on last time. He saw Jeremy sitting there, laughing with Christine. Michael walked out the door before he could start crying again. God, he was hopeless. _Well, you are hopelessly in love with-_ He cut off his own thought. He couldn't torture himself with that right now. Or any of his thoughts, really. Michael found his PT Cruiser, and quickly started it up. He leaned back into the seat for a second, and let a tear track down his face. Then another, and another one after that. Eventually, they just wouldn't stop again. The words from his and Jeremy's fight started back up in his brain again, but there was only one that seemed to be repeating and repeating. _I think you're just pissed_ _that I have one and you don't._ Maybe... maybe Jeremy was right. Maybe the SQUIP wasn't so bad. Sure, that one kids brother went crazy, but that didn't mean everyone who got one went crazy. Jeremy seemed to be doing just fine, anyways. And maybe Jeremy would actually pay attention to him if... Michael opened his eyes suddenly, making what was probably the worst drunk mistake in his life. He slammed on the gas before he could change his mind, quickly driving home. He needed some cash after all. He was going to buy some 'shoes'.

* * *

Michael walked into the Payless, finding himself glad that it was always the last store to close in the mall. He fidgeted with his the wrap around his arms, ignoring the stinging coming from underneath it. Though secretly, he liked the stinging. It helped him ignore the sober voice in his head telling him this was a bad idea. He made sure his hoodie covered his arms completely though, not wanting to answer the dumb ass questions he was afraid people would ask. Michal made his way to the desk, relaxing when he saw it was the same guy who had sold Jeremy his SQUIP.

"Look, kid, we are about to close in five minutes. Just come back tomorrow." The guy must have noticed he was walking up and decided that he didn't want to deal with a customer right now. Michael huffed. He wasn't leaving here without a tiny computer pill. And God knows he would do anything to get it.

"This can't and won't wait till tomorrow." The guy looked up at Michael and squinted.

"Hey, you were with that one kid, weren't you? The really nerdy one." Michael nodded and pulled out his money. He slammed it on the counter.

"Four. Hundred. Freaking. Dollars. You know what I want," he simply said. The clerk looked at him suspiciously.

"Kid, are you drunk? I don't sell to anyone drunk or high. Are you sure-"

"Just give me the DAMN PILL!" Michael shouted, glaring at the shady man. The guy didn't move for a second, before he simply shrugged. He reached under the desk and pulled out a ladies running shoes box. He opened it and pulled out a gray looking pill.

"You know the warnings already. I'm not responsible, blah blah blah. Now get out of my store." Michael grabbed the pill, glanced at the guy, and quickly turned around. He quickly made his way out of the store, not wanting to press his luck. He couldn't believe that actually worked. It wasn't like Michael was that scary. If he was, he wouldn't even need this computer pill thingy. Michael sat down at one of the food court tables, and sighed. Now was the time. When he would walk into school tomorrow, no one would be thinking about how he was such a loser, or how he was _so_ gay for anything that he did. No, they would be thinking about how cool he was, and how they all want to be his friend. He pulled out a bottle of regular Mountain Dew, and opened it. No going back now, he decided at he put the pill on his tongue. He took a drink of the soda and swallowed the pill in one gulp. He sat there for a second, thinking about how maybe this time it was a scam, when a sudden flash of pain went through his head. He let out a small yell of surprise when the pain didn't stop. He heard a voice, but couldn't tell what it was saying through the pain in his head. He grabbed at his hair, crying out as the pain increased. He barely had time to think that maybe this was a bad idea before he could finally understand the voice. A voice he knew all to well.

 ** _Calibration complete. Michael Mell, welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor. Your SQUIP._**

Michael looked up, the pain in his head finally gone, and met the eyes of what he concluded was his SQUIP. But there was one problem.

The thing standing in front of him was also his Player Two, Jeremy Heere.


	2. Chapter 2

Michael wasn't sure how long he had been sitting at the food court by now, just staring at the image in front of him. All of his thoughts immediately went from drunken slurs to one word. Jeremy. So of course, that was the first thing to come out of his mouth.

"Jeremy?" The... the thing raised an eyebrow as he looked at Michael. It's eyes raked over the boy's body, picking out every little detail. Michael squirmed under the look. Usually when someone looked you over like _that,_ the look they gave you was purely sexual. This thing made it seem like he was judging every little detail of Michael's, even the black nail police that graced his perfectly manicured nails.

"Wow. I've got work to do," the thing muttered. Michael cringed. Okay, maybe this really wasn't a good idea. The thing finally met Michael's eyes, and Michael almost fell out of his chair. Yeah, this was definitely in no way his friend. It's eyes were a bright, electrical blue, and Michael felt like those eyes could see straight through him. Which, he would bet, probably could. "Well, Michelle Mell, you have quite the shitty life, don't you? I can see why you need me." That's what finally snapped Michael out of his trance.

"It's Michael," he immediately snapped. This SQUIP was not going to make him be who he was uncomfortable being. He decided then and there that if this thing wouldn't call him by the right name or pronouns, he was getting rid of it. Though, that is probably what he should do anyway. He almost reached into his bag and grabbed the Mountain Dew Red that was resting in there. Almost. The thing grinned, as though it had just won a battle.

"There we go. That got your attention." The SQUIP noticed the angry and hard look Michael was now giving him and shrugged. "Listen kid, I honestly don't care what you are. I just need to make you more chill, and that would be easier if you weren't starring at me as though I have a second head. And don't talk out loud. Just think at me. No one else can see me, and I can't have people thinking you're crazy. My work will be for nothing if does." The Jeremy look alike raised an eyebrow at Michael as it sat down in the chair across from him. Okay, so this was really happening and Michael wasn't drunk. Or maybe he was. He should have just gone home and gotten stoned. Things would have been so much easier then. But Michael concluded that he was an idiot and this was his problem, so he needed to just roll with it. Michael crossed his arms, deciding to put his anger into feeling rebellious. And just think at the thing? How did that even work? He, admittedly, felt completely sober by now, so still being drunk was out of the picture. Michael focused on his thoughts, and tried to direct them at the SQUIP.

"Look, I didn't need a sassy asshole to help me. If I needed that, I could have done this myself. I need something to help me get more popular and-"

"Help you get into Jeremy Heere's pants. Yes, I know," the thing interrupted. Michael figured the thinking thing worked as he blushed, his whole face turning red. He almost denied it, but he knew this think would know if he was lying. Michael had to admit, that had not been on his mind at this very moment, but now it was. Maybe this thing could help him with that one little problem, Michael could admit that. But that didn't make this topic any less awkward. It was even more awkward hearing it come out of Jeremy's mouth. Michael opened his mouth to say something, but the SQUIP cut him off again. "Listen, kiddo. Don't talk back. I know better than you, obviously, and I know what you want and I can get it for you. So just do what I say, and I'll get Jeremy to notice you." Michael scoffed. That was some sucky sales pitch there.

"Look, Tic Tac, I don't have to- OW!" Michael cut himself off when he felt a jolt of electricity go through him. He glared at the thing across the table, and let all of his anger go in one simple sentence. "What the Hell, dude?"

"If you won't do it on your own consent, I will make you do it," the SQUIP simply told him. Michael almost made a smart ass comment, but he felt another jolt go through him. "Every time you ignore or talk back to me, you'll get a jolt quite like that one." The thing stood up, and motioned for Michael to do the same. As much as he would hate to admit it, Michael didn't want to get shocked again. He stood up warily. Maybe he had time to... He yelped again. God, this thing had no idea what mercy was, did it? As much as he liked a painful distraction from his feelings, he hadn't liked getting shocked like that. The SQUIP started walking to one of the last stores open, and Michael followed. When Michael hesitated in front of the small clothing store, he felt another jolt go through him. He yelped again, and walked into the store. "Alright loser, let's pick you out some new clothes."

"Hey, I'm not a loser," Michael argued, though his voice sounded weak. He knew perfectly well that he was a loser, and he knew that the SQUIP knew that he knew. The Jeremy look alike rolled his eyes at Michael as it grabbed a shirt from one of the tables. "And sure, this Creeps shirt is a little weird, but my hoodie is perfectly fine."

"Uh, yeah, no." The SQUIP threw a shirt into Michael's arms, then continued searching. "That hoodie is what? Two years old? And as big as you are, that thing is still big on you. Your sense of style is completely terrible, and if I'm being honest, I'm not sure if even I can help you. No wonder Jeremy abandoned you." Michael's hands immediately went to his arms, suddenly remembering all his thoughts from the bathroom.

"Look, if you're trying to make me feel horrible about myself, then you don't really have to try that hard alright? Anything you tell me, I promise I've already told myself." Of course, whatever the SQUIP would say, it would still hurt like Hell because it would be coming out of Jeremy's mouth, with Jeremy's voice. The SQUIP frowned, and turned to Michael. The boy ignored the computer and reached out a hand to grab a shirt, trying to go back to the original task at hand. They had to get this done soon, seeing as the mall was going to close in five minutes. But his SQUIP seemed to have other plans.

"Lift the arms of your shirt," the Jeremy look alike demanded.

"Can't we just go back to looking for-"

"Do it." Michael saw no other way around this. He lifted his shirt sleeves, and looked away. He didn't want to look at those bloody bandages, sure, but he really didn't want to remember how good it had felt to get ride of his thoughts that way. He had stopped hurting himself a long time ago, when Jeremy had realized what he was doing. Sometimes, Michael was glad Jeremy had found him in his bathroom- bleeding, crying, and probably looking like an overall baby- but other times he wasn't. Michael pulled down his sleeves, and reached for the shirt again.

"Look, it doesn't matter, okay? No one but Jeremy ever cared anyways."

"This makes things a little more complicated." Michael decided to ignore that comment.

"You're in my head. How did you not know about this?"

"I didn't have time to look at your whole life story! Besides, you blocked some memories out of your brain. I can't reach those." Michael glared at his SQUIP.

"Let's just keep looking for clothes. It'll keep my mind occupied, and help you complete whatever task your trying to accomplish here," Michael said, ignoring the computer's pitying look. He didn't want to deal with that right now. It was to much. "Besides, this place is about to close and I have school tomorrow."

"Yeah, Hell no. You are not going to school until those cuts on you arms are healed and you sense in fashion is... updated." Michael raised an eyebrow at his SQUIP. Was Jeremy's this annoying? Did it pester him like this to no end? Should Michael just go and drink that bottle of Mountain Dew Red in his backpack? But the boy realized that if he wanted Jeremy back as at least a friend, then he needed this dumb ass thing. So as much as he hated to do it, he just bit back any smart ass remark he had and decided to just go with the flow.

"Fine. Whatever. We can come back here tomorrow then."

"Good plan." Michael set down all the shirts that had ended up in his arms, and made his way out of the store. There was no point in getting kicked out in a few minutes if they were just coming back tomorrow. It wasn't easy to ignore the dirty look the cashier was giving him- seriously it looked like she was trying to get him to internally combust- but he managed to walk out of the store without exploding. "Now, let's talk about your new exercise ritual."

"Hell no."

* * *

 _Heyo! Sorry for the terrible chapter, I wasn't really sure how to throw this SQUIP in here. But I hope I did fine. I promise I have a plan for this story._

 _ _Also, thank you so much to the reviews that I have been given! Honestly, you have no idea how much those mean to me! I would also love some constructive critisim if you guys have any (which I'm sure you do), or just anything else.__

 _ _Thanks for reading! Next update should be out this week.__


	3. Chapter 3

_**Michael's Thoughts To the SQUIP**_

 _Squip_

* * *

 _'No. You are not wearing that. No way.'_

 ** _'It's just one small thing! No one's going to see it!'_**

 _'That is true, yes, but if we compromise on this one thing, then we might compromise on the next and so on and so forth.'_

 _ **'You already made me stuff my hoodie in the back of my closet! You are not making me get ride of my favorite binder!'**_

Michael was sick of tired of this stupid thing telling him what to do. First, it makes him get rid of his hoodie in favor for a _leather jacket_ (Yeah, that's right. You read that correctly), but now it was trying to make him get rid of his favorite binder. Michael glanced down at the article of clothing in his hands, and smiled at the small little weeds that covered the binder. It was his own little thing, and it wasn't like anyone was going to see it. Besides, that over grown tic tac hadn't let him wear his binder in a while, due to all the exercise or whatever he was doing, and he was dying to wear this one on his first day back at school. Michael glared up at the SQUIP, trying to intimidate the computer. He and his SQUIP had a staring contest, Michael refusing to back down. Finally, the Jeremy-look-alike grew sick of it. Michael felt a shock go through his body, and he jumped. That hadn't happened in a while, and Michael was not-so-pleasantly surprised. He sighed, deciding a binder wasn't worth getting shocked like that. Michael threw the binder on his bed, and grabbed his plain nude one out of his closet. The tic tac nodded at him.

 _'There you go. Much easier to just comply, yes?'_

 _ **'Whatever.'**_

Michael threw on a plain red t-shirt, and made his way to the door out of his room. He glanced at himself in the mirror before going though, and had to admit he looked like a biker. He hated it. Michael walked out of his room before he could rip off the clothes and put on something comfortable. And it wasn't just the jacket. It was also these damn skinny jeans that he had to wear. Like, yeah, he liked jeans. But not when they felt like freaking leggings. He hadn't worn skinny jeans since before he came out as trans to his parents, and he hadn't really planned on ever doing that again, either. The SQUIP was freaking lucky that Michael still knew where his packer was.

Michael sighed, walking into the kitchen. He grabbed a apple from the fridge, hoping to get out of there before-

"Hey, kiddo! You all ready for school?" Michael grimaced and turned to his mom.

"Hey Mom," he said, forcing a smile onto his face. "Yeah, I was just getting ready to leave, actually. I-"

"What are you wearing?" Michael turned to the new voice, wishing this had gone according to plan. Plus, where was that useless SQUIP?

"Hey, Mama," he told his second mom. "I was just heading out. B-"

"You didn't answer my question, Michael. What the hell are you wearing?" Michael wanted to bolt out of the room. Being corned by his moms was not something he wanted today. Well, he didn't want to be corned by Mama. Mom was cool.

"I decided to try something new, Ma," Michael told her, hoping she wouldn't notice the slight hesitance in his voice.

"You've been home 'sick' for the past week, you haven't been wearing your binder lately, and now the change in clothes? What's going on?"

"Hey, leave the kid alone," Mom said. She was way more laid back, and Michael had never been more grateful for that. "He's just trying something new, honey."

"Look, I'd love to stay and talk some more, but I gotta go," Michael put in, heading for the door. "Bye, moms." He was out the door before they could even tell him bye. Not that they were paying attention to him anymore. They were arguing about parenting techniques, which had been happening a lot lately. Michael fixed his jacket, before getting into his PT Cruiser. Right as he closed the door, he let out a breath he hadn't even been realizing he was holding.

 _'That went well.'_

Michael jumped, and banged his elbow against the steering wheel. He cursed, before receiving his second shock of the day. The tic tac sat in his passenger seat, smirking smugly.

 _'Language, Michael.'_

 _ **'Where were you? I could have used your help in there!?'**_

 _'I can't tell you what to do all the time. You have to figure some things out on your own.'_

 ** _'Whatever.'_**

Michael started his car, and turned up the radio so he didn't have to listen to the stupid computer complain. He didn't need that shit. Especially not on his first day back to school. Especially not on the first day of his plan to become popular.

Which, Michael had to admit, wasn't looking so wonderful right now.

* * *

 _I'm sorry. So sorry. I went on vacation then our internet went down and yeah. I could barely get on here. But I promise next chapter will have way more that this one did. And I might have to go a little off the original time line for this story, but I promise Rich will eventually burn down a house. So, yeah. Thanks for reading!_


	4. Chapter 4

Michael sort of hated school. He'd rather be at home, playing Apocalypse of the Damned, and getting high. All with Jeremy, of course. But no, he had to go learn things he'd never use in life. Like, how to find the diameter of a circle, or how funner and ain't aren't actual words. Michael didn't really appreciate the people there, either. They always talked about you behind your back, and spread rumors. People starred at you as you walked down the hall, which made anxiety flare up very easily. Which was what was happening to Michael at that very second.

Michael wished he hadn't worn the jeans, or the jacket. People were starring at him, and whispering. He could hear snippets of the conversations, too. Most of them were about where this new kid came from and why haven't we seen him around here before. It kind of hurt to know that no one knew who he actually was.

"Michael Mell?" Well, most everyone. Michael looked up from the floor to see the one and only Richard Goranski. He froze in his spot, like a deer in headlights. Rich walked over to him and made an approving noise. "You got one too, huh? Nice, bro!" Michael nodded, not really able to get whole words out. He hadn't even been sure that Rich had known his name. He thought everyone just knew him as either that stoner kid or the gay kid with the two moms. Not that either of those nicknames were wrong, of course. Michael could see his SQUIP out of the corner of his eye, watching closely.

"Yeah, uh, I, um... yeah, dude," Michael forced out. He mentally cringed at the awkwardness of it all. Rich didn't seem fazed though, which amazed Michael. He looked like he was about to say something else, but then the bell rang. Michael mentally cursed at himself, mad that he hadn't been able to find and talk to Jeremy yet.

"Oh, uh, I gotta get to class. But hey! You should come over sometime. You like videogames, right? Maybe Jeremy can come too!" Michael didn't even have time to say anything before the shorter boy winked at him and walked away. He stared stupidly after Rich, still in shock that had happened. Did just possessing a SQUIP make him that cool?

 _'Your going to be late, Michael.'_

 ** _'THE Rich Goranski just talked to me. He freaking winked at me.'_**

 _'Kiddo, you're going to be late for class.'_

 ** _'I know, but still. What's next? Is Jake going to ask me to join some athletic team or something?'_**

 _'Unlikely.'_

Michael chuckled and headed to his first class. Maybe being popular won't be so bad. If he could get Rich to talk to him, then surely he could get Jeremy. Right?

* * *

Turns out getting Jeremy to talk to him would be a little harder than Michael thought it would. Michael hadn't even gotten to see his former best friend the entire day, and it made Michael kid of pissed off. He had grabbed the attention of Chloe Valentine(who had flirted the Hell out of him before he told her that he was gay), Jenna Rolan(who wanted to know the scoop on who he was and where he came from), Brooke Lohst(who just asked for directions), and Jake Dillinger(who asked why he wasn't on the football team). He didn't have the heart to tell the sporty guy it was because he actual hated sports. But if he could get almost all of the most popular people in school to talk to him, why couldn't he get Jeremy?

 _'It is because he is completely obsessed with that Christine girl,'_ his SQUIP provided. _'He believes that he is in love with her.'_

 ** _'Thanks, Captain Obvious. Any other useful information that I was already aware of.'_**

 _'Just go outside. Jeremy should be out there. I'll tell you what to say, so do not worry.'_

Michael wanted to make a smartassy comment at the SQUIP, but wasn't really feeling the energy, so decided he'd store it for later. He threw his backpack over his shoulder and walked out of the front doors of the school. Honestly, his first day hadn't been a complete disaster, and he was going to see Jeremy right now with the help of his maybe not so useless tic tac. He spotted Jeremy next to a silver Tahoe, trying to unlock the beaten up car. Michael guessed that since Jeremy didn't have him to lug his skinny ass everywhere, Jeremy had to drive his dad's Tahoe to school everyday. He almost laughed at the thought, remembering how much his Player 2 hated that car. Before he even had time to think, he yelled out the first thing to come to his mind.

"That thing must be _super_ popular with the ladies!" Michael almost slapped himself, and he could see the murderous look his SQUIP was giving him. Jeremy whipped around, surprised. Well, apparently that Optic whatever Blocking thing wasn't still in use. Lucky Michael. He could almost see Jeremy pause to listen to his SQUIP tell him what to do. For a second, Michael wondered who's Jeremy's looked like.

"Uh, hey Michael." Said boy could almost hear the strain in his old friends voice. Michael was suddenly thrown back into that bathroom, hearing the words loser again and again. He shook his head, clearing that thought from his brain. He had to make this work. He couldn't get mad at Jeremy, and Jeremy couldn't get mad at him. No matter how much he had hurt Michael. "What do you need?"

"Look, I just want to apologize for how I acted in the bathroom," Michael said, forcing himself to sound sorry. He listened as his SQUIP told him what to say, and repeated the words carefully. He had to admit, it was really weird taking orders from Jeremy about what to say to the real Jeremy. "I was out of line and should have approached you in a better environment."

"You're sorry? I'm the one who called you a... you know..." Jeremy couldn't even say the word, which made Michael feel a little better. "And look, I'm sorry for getting so mad at you and not listening. I-" Michael could see Jeremy cut himself off, and was sure the other boys SQUIP didn't want him to say whatever he was about to say.

"No, it's okay. I just didn't get it then, I guess. I was pretty drunk too, you know." Michael chuckled and smiled at Jeremy, hoping the other boy wouldn't brush him off.

"Wait, you didn't get it then? Get what?" He could almost hear the concern in Jeremy's voice, but he ignored it and continued to follow what his SQUIP was telling him to do.

"SQUIPs. I get it know, I think. They-"

"Wait, Michael. how do you get it now?"

"Oh, I, uh..."

"Michael... did you get a SQUIP?"

* * *

 _Yeah, I'm leaving it at a cliffhanger. That's what y'all get when I decide I want to write and finish the next chapter in less then a day. The next chapter should be out soon, though. And just so you know, it has some huge Boyf Riends in it, hopefully. Also, some more of Michael's moms! If you want to understand their personalities, they are basically Patton and Logan from Sanders Sides. That's who I'm basing them off of, anyways. I didn't go over this chapter and fix stuff because I'm sort of lazy, so if there are any mistakes, please let me know. And I love reading all of your guys comments and hearing all of your thoughts on this! It helps me know what you guys are enjoying about this book! If you have any questions I'll be sure to answer them._

 ** _Steampunk Wilson-_** _Michael actually owns three binders, because his mom's are so freaking amazing and want to help. They can't afford top surgery, though(which will be brought up later), so they just bought him more binders. And yes, Jeremy knows that Michael is trans. He actually helped Michael pick out his week binder._


	5. Chapter 5

"No."

The word was out of Michael's mouth faster than a snow cone would melt in Hell. He wasn't even sure why he said it, either. Until he looked at his SQUIP and realized that that mother trucker had taken control of him and forced him to say it.

 _ **'Uh, why didn't we tell Jeremy the truth.'**_

 _'Because he would of had what you would call a "freak out". His SQUIP understands though.'_

 ** _'You can communicate with other SQUIPS?'_**

 _'Yes.'_

Michael realized he probably wasn't going to get much more than that, so he gave up on the topic for now. He focused on Jeremy again, who looked confused.

"How do you get it then, Michael?" Jeremy seemed genuinely concerned, and Michael almost felt bad for not telling him the truth. Key word being almost. Michael knew he needed this, and if Jeremy's SQUIP knew the truth, then he figured him and Jeremy could at least be friend again.

"I, uh, kept asking around about them after I left the party," Michael lied easily, following his tic tacs lead. "I meet someone who actually had a SQUIP and they explained it all to me. I get it now." He knew it sounded lame and unbelievable. He could see it in Jeremy's eyes. But Jeremy didn't say anything about it. He just shrugged, as if he didn't want to fight about this. "Do you want to come over tonight? My moms aren't gonna be home because date night, and I-" Michael was going to say miss you but his SQUIP cut him off. "-well, we, still have to finish Apocalypse of the Damned?" he finished lamely. Jeremy paused a second, biting his lip.

"Yeah, sure," he finally said. Michael noticed how cautious the other sounded, as if he was scarred Michael was still going to yell at him for the whole bathroom thing. "Hey, what's with the new clothes, by the way? They're a little, ah, 'tight' for your style."

"Oh, I just thought I'd try something new," Michael knew that sounded so fake. He never really tried anything new. Heck, he had had the same earphones for three years running. But again, Jeremy just shrugged.

"Alright. As long as you still have and plan on wearing that freaking expensive weed binder I helped you get." Michael laughed, grinning at Jeremy. He felt himself relax a bit, and sighed.

"As if I could ever get rid of that," he told Jeremy. "Alright, well, I better get home and clean up. Mom is probably worried about me by now." Jeremy nodded, and opened his car door. He smiled at Michael, before waving.

"See you later, Player One."

"Bye, Player Two." Michael was getting ready to head back to his car, before Jeremy stopped him again.

"And Michael? It's great to see you again."

* * *

Michael wasn't aware how stupidly he was grinning till he walked into his house and his Mom pointed it out.

"Oh, did someone have a good day?" his Mom questioned, grinning at him. Michael laughed. He had always felt more comfortable around Mom instead of Mama. He wasn't sure if it was just because his mom had such a maternal sense around her, or if it was because Mama had such a cool unfeeling air around her. He figured it was both.

"Yeah, I saw Jeremy today," he told her. Both his moms knew that he liked Jeremy. Really, the only person who didn't was Jeremy himself. "Hey, he's going to come over tonight while you guys are out."

"Okay. Please, try not to get to high. And no inappropriate touching!" Yeah, Michael's moms also knew he did drugs. How could they not, when he did it in the basement all of the time. At first it was just to help his anxiety, and then he started using it to get ride of his intrusive thoughts. Then him and Jeremy just did it for fun, one day. It just kind of progressed.

"Yeah Mom, I promise." He grinned at her, before puling her into a hug.

"Hey, what's this for, kiddo?"

"Because I wanted a hug." He hadn't gotten to see them lately with all this SQUIP stuff, and he missed his moms. He pulled away after a few seconds, and smiled. "I'm gonna go upstairs. Yell if you need anything."

* * *

Michael's moms had left about thirty minutes before he heard someone knocking at the door. Michael figured it was Jeremy, and threw on his old hoodie. He was back in sweatpants and his hoodie, and his SQUIP sort of hated it. But they compromised by Michael agreeing to take off his binder so he wouldn't hurt himself by wearing it to much. He had on one of his old sports bras instead, and decided that it probably wasn't any more comfortable. Michael ran down the stairs, which did not feel good without a binder, and rushed to the door.

 _'Breath, Michael. It's just Jeremy.'_

 ** _'It's just Jeremy? It's JUST Jeremy?!'_**

 _'He's come over many times before, Michael.'_

 ** _'I know but this time I have you.'_**

 _'Yes, well, just calm down.'_

Michael took a deep breath, and opened the door.

"Hey Jeremy," he said, smiling.

"Hey Michael," Jeremy responded, stepping into the house.

"You know you can just walk in, right? You basically live here too, you know?"

"I didn't know if I was still that welcome," Jeremy told him. Michael shook his head, smiling.

"Dude, you're always welcome here." Jeremy nodded and walked over to the kitchen. Michael followed him, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"So, what's the plan? Are Alice and Robin home still?" Jeremy asked.

"Nah, the moms aren't home," Michael replied, opening the fridge. He caught sight of the Mountain Dew Red he still had, and had quick thought that maybe he should offer some to Jeremy. Before he could say anything though, he felt a small shock go through his body.

 _'Michael,'_ his SQUIP warned. Michael sighed, knowing what that meant. They had talked about this before. He made a mental note to throw that shit away later so he wouldn't think that again. He pulled out some grape soda though, and turned to Jeremy.

"You want any?" he asked the other, closing the fridge and pulling out a cup.

"Nah, I'm good."

"Suit yourself." Michael poured himself a glass, before putting the soda away and sitting down next to Jeremy. "And, uh, playing video games is the plan! Duh!" Jeremy raised an eyebrow. "And maybe getting a little high," Michael admitted. Jeremy chuckled.

"Yeah, I figured." Michael grinned. He could feel the tension falling away as they both got comfortable with each other again. Michael laughed, before downing his soda.

"Alright, let's beat this two player game!"

* * *

Michael wasn't sure what time it was or how long he and Jeremy had been in this basement. All he knew was he was pretty high and Jeremy had already hit his drug limit. If there was a such thing as a drug limit. Was there? Michael wasn't sure, but he giggled at his thoughts.

"Hey Jers, there's a zombie comin' up behind ya!"

"Thanks Mich! Hey, grab that grenade! Wait, is that how you say that? Or do you saw gernade?"

"I think it's gernade, dude."

"Bro, I agree. Thanks."

"No problem bro." Michael giggled again, and lost focus for a second.

"God dammit! Bruh, where were you?" Jeremy freaked when they both died. Michael groaned and laid back on his bean bag. His thoughts were getting slow and fuzzy, and he wasn't sure what to say.

 _ **'Hey hey what do I say? Oh my god that rhymed! Am I a poet? Should I try to be a poet?'**_

 _'WARNING WARNING WARNING.'_

 _ **'Uh, SQUIP dude?'**_

 _'POWERING OFF TO CONSERVE DATA IN 3...2...1...'_

 ** _'Tic tac?'_** Michael thought out desperately. No, he needed the freaking computer to help him with Jeremy. But he had to admit his brain felt kind of empty now. Did his thing seriously power off? Was it because of the weed? What happened? If his was off, was Jeremy's too? But he couldn't just ask Jeremy. because then Jeremy would be suspicious. Michael hadn't even realized he had zoned out until Jeremy started shaking him out of his thoughts.

"Hey, hey, dude, you good?" Michael starred up at Jeremy, who was sitting on his lap shaking him. Michael wasn't sure why Jeremy was on his lap, but he kind of liked it. God, he was so helpless.

"I, uh..." Michael wasn't sure if it was the drugs or just the fact Jeremy was _right there_ , but he couldn't form real words. His eyes glanced down at Jeremy's lips for a second before shooting right back up to the other boys eyes. Michael was surprised to see that Jeremy seemed to be looking at his lips, and he sucked in a breath. Jeremy leaned down, and Michael closed his eyes as both of their lips connected. The kiss was sloppy and probably drug induced, but Michael enjoyed it no less. He grabbed Jeremy's shoulders and pulled him closer. Jeremy didn't fight against it, and brought a hand up into Michael's hair. The hoodie clad boy pulled back for a second to get his breath back. They both opened their eyes at the same time. Michael was flushed and breathing heavy, and Jeremy was so red , he blended it with Michael's hoodie.

"O-oh shit," Jeremy suddenly said, quickly climbing up off of Michael's lap. "Dude, I'm so sorry."

"No, it's...uh," Michael couldn't think straight. Between the drugs and the fact he just made out with Jeremy, it was no surprise his thoughts were completely jumbled up. Jeremy pulled his sweater tighter around him, standing awkwardly.

"I'm just gonna go," Jeremy suddenly said.

"No, dude, you don't have to go," Michael said, standing up quickly. Jeremy's blush deepened somehow, and he shook his head.

"No, I think I need to go. Your moms are probably going to come home soon anyways." It seemed like Jeremy was completely down to Earth now, as if he hadn't been high this entire night.

"No, Jerremy, please do-"

"See you tomorrow." Jeremy more or less ran out of the room. Michael went to follow him, but fell back on his beanbag. Looks like the weed was still affecting him, even though he felt like he had just gotten soaked with a cold bucket of water. He covered his eyes with his hands, sighing loudly.

 _'POWERING BACK UP IN 3...2...1...'_ The Jeremy look alike appeared on the beanbag right next to his, and seemed a little put out of it. Michael refused to look over at it, not wanting to see Jeremy's face.

 ** _'Are you back now?'_**

 _"Hello Michael. You do not sound happy to see me.'_

 ** _'Yeah! Cause you freaking abandoned me and I think I just fucked up everything.'_**

 _'Give me a second as I review this evenings data.'_ Michael was silent as the SQUIP reviewed the data. _'Oh.'_

 ** _'Yeah.'_**

 _'I didn't think you had the guts.'_

 ** _'Thanks.'_**

 _'No, I mean, you actually-'_

"I KNOW!" Michael yelled.

"I just freaking made out with Jeremy Heere. Oh shit, what am I gonna do? I can't go to school tomorrow."

 _'You can and you will. Now, let's make a plan.'_

"No. I'm going to go to sleep and sleep off the rest of my high. You can come up with a plan. Good day to you sir." He laid back on his beanbag, ignoring his SQUIP's protests.

 _'Michael...'_

Michael was out before the SQUIP could even think of lecturing him.

* * *

 _It's over 2,000 words. I hope y'all are happy with this. I really tried, and I had blast. My fingers are in pain though and I'm so tired of the word bro. But yes, this was a lot of fun! If you have any questions, feel free to ask!_


	6. Chapter 5 and a Half

Jeremy wasn't sure why he did it. He wasn't gay. At least, he was pretty sure he wasn't. Maybe he was... Jeremy groaned out loud.

 _'Jeremy, be more chill.'_

 ** _'Why?! I, a straight male, just kissed my gay best friend. Who I called a loser and abandoned at a party a little while ago. What is wronge with me?'_**

 _'You were both high. I'm sure Michael will understand.'_

 ** _'But what if he doesn't? What if he gets mad? I don't want to lose him again!'_**

 _'Are you sure you are not gay?'_

 ** _'I mean... I think.'_**

 _'Maybe you should talk to some people from the, ah, LGBTQ community? You could be... what's the word? Into both genders?'_

 ** _'Look, I would know if I were bisexual. I would have figured it out in my 12 years of friendship with my GAY BEST FRIEND.'_**

 _'Okay okay. I was just suggesting something to try Jeremy. It could help calm you down, after all.'_

Jeremy sighed and didn't respond. He wanted to make some sort of smart ass comment, but he couldn't think of anything at the moment. All he could think was maybe the SQUIP was right. It had been right about everything before this. Why wouldn't it be right now? Jeremy hadn't even realized he had walked all the way back to his own home until he was right in front of the door. He sighed, and decided maybe he should go see one of Michael's moms. They could probably help, and he was pretty sure one of them was pan or something. Jeremy unlocked the door and snuck inside, not wanting to alarm his dad. He crept upstairs after locking the door again, and quietly opened his bedroom door. He softly closed it before throwing himself onto his bed like an over-dramatic Disney princess. He let out a small groan, before his thoughts started back up again. Maybe he was gay? Kissing Michael was pretty nice. And Jeremy had to admit, he had always kind of wanted to do that. But he had never been into guys before! And he wasn't gay for Michael! That's just weird! It's not like he was into the whole retro stoned gamer thing. And Michael wasn't his type! He had never been into people with Michael's dark caramel skin, or his deep dark chocolate eyes. And the way Michael painted his nails black all the time! Or how Michael always had to wear that cute headband thing or a bobby pin cause his hair would always fall into his eyes. Or- Jeremy cut his thoughts off right there, because they were beginning to sound very against what he had been saying before. He wasn't gay! But maybe his SQUIP was right. He could be bi. But again, he was pretty sure he would have figured that out by _now._ And the whole kissing thing! Should he even bring it up with Michael? Or was Michael high enough that he would forget it tomorrow. Or Jeremy could always blame it on the weed. He knew they had both done some weird shit while high. But again, he could just say he didn't remember.

 _'Jeremy, again, calm done.'_

 ** _'I don't know how!'_**

 _'Michael will be fine. We have more pressing matters at hand. Like the upcoming formal dance at your school.'_

 ** _'I can't think about Christine right now.'_**

 _'Well then go to sleep and we will discuss it in the morning during your pushups. I don't care if you were high, I know you thought about sex at least three times during and after that kiss. You will make it up to me tomorrow.'_

 ** _'Whatever.'_**

Jeremy rolled over, and was out before his SQUIP could continue to torture him anymore.

* * *

 _Yes I'm doing a half chapter. I don't know, I just wanted to do Jeremy's POV but I decided I didn't want a whole chapter because I can't make Jeremy deny his gayness that much. This was definitely a weird chapter to write. I'm to gay for this. But hey, I wanted this. And I promise the dance thing was not just a random thought I had. That's a huge part of the story that I've had planned for a while now. But yes, chapter 6 should be out soon. And **Steampunk Wilson** to answer your question, they have experience playing video games while high. And I never said they got very far. They sort of died a lot._


	7. Chapter 6

Michael sat at the counter in his kitchen, watching Mom make breakfast. He was wearing his new usually outfit still, and he could tell that neither of his moms really approved of it. He didn't either, but he couldn't fight the SQUIP. He rested his head on the table and let out a tired sigh.

"How did yesterday go with Jeremy?" his Mom asked. He looked up at her, and sighed.

"It went great," he replied, voice laced in sarcasm.

"Oh, kiddo, what happened?" Michael groaned, and buried his face in his hands.

"Well, it went normal at first. We were, uh-"

"You were high. Just say it kiddo. We know," she told him. "We don't approve, but we would rather know you do it then you do it behind our backs." She muttered the last part under her breath while turning back to the pancakes, but Michael heard it and felt guilty. He knew that was how his moms felt, but he felt bad whenever they talked about it.

"Yeah, we were pretty high," Michael admitted. "We were trying to play videogames, and I spaced out a bit. Jeremy shook me out of it, but when I came to he was on my lap, and honestly I'm not sure what really happened. All I know is we ended up-" His mom whipped around suddenly, eyes wide.

"You didn't have sex did you?!" Michael shot up and blushed, surprised his mom would ask that. "Oh god, you did didn't you?! You used protection, right? You know you aren't exactly a, ah, 'normal' case-"

"Mom! No! I'm a 17 year old trans boy who hasn't had any surgery! I'm not comfortable with my own body, I'm not going to let anyone see me! And we just kissed!" Michael was going on, and his blush only deepened. "And then he ran away," Michael finished. His mom let out a long sigh, thankful her child was so amazing.

"Okay. You kissed. That's good right?"

"Well, I thought so too. Before he ran out of the house and just-"

"What's with all the yelling?" Michael turned to the doorframe that connected the kitchen and living room.

"Hey Mama," Michael's mom said, smiling. Michael's mama walked over to Alice, who was still working on the pancakes, and kissed her on the cheek.

"Don't forget your meeting me for lunch today," Robin told the other woman. Alice nodded. "Now, what's all of this yelling?"

"Michael ki-"

"MOM!"

"He did what?" Robin demanded, turning to Michael. "What did you and Jeremy do last night? I swear to God if you broke any of the ru-" An alarm went off, and Robin frowned. "I have to go, but don't think we aren't going to talk about all of this later. Bye Michael. Bye Alice."

"Wait, you aren't staying for family breakfast?" Alice asked, looking disappointed.

"Sorry dear, but I have a meeting today. I'll see you at lunch."

"Bye, love," Alice called after her wife as Robin grabbed her purse and walked out of the door. Alice's face fell for a second, before she turned back to the breakfast. Michael noticed it though.

"Are you two doing okay?" Michael asked.

"We're fine, kiddo. Don't worry about us." Michael knew that she knew that he knew that she was lying, but neither of them said anything about it. "Anyways, continue your story!"

"Oh, he just straight up left. Like, said he was sorry and ran." Michael wanted to push the first subject, but didn't want his mom to get mad, so just finished his story.

"Well, he probably thought you were mad. Hadn't he always identified as straight? And he knew you were gay. He might have freaked out," Alice suggested.

"Yeah. He has always claimed he was straight. Maybe he's bi, like Mama."

"Maybe," Alice agreed. She grabbed a plate and put a few pancakes on it. "Well, we can talk about this later with Mama. Now eat up! I made enough for three, so we gotta eat a lot!"

* * *

Jeremy had only agreed to it this morning, and his SQUIP was already forcing him to go see one of Michael's moms. It's not like he didn't want to, but not this soon! He wanted some time to think. But his SQUIP was having none of that. No, he had to go see one of them right away. And that's the story of how he ended up standing in front of Robin's work place before school started. He had wanted to go to Alice, but he figured Michael was still at home and didn't want to run into the other. Plus, Robin was bisexual, so she might be more helpful.

 _'Stop stalling and go in, Jeremy.'_

 ** _'What if she gets mad that I kissed her son?'_**

 _'She'll be glad you came to her about all of this then.'_

 ** _'Yeah, but what if-'_**

 _'Just go in Jeremy.'_

Jeremy sighed before obeying, deciding to just not fight it right now. He really wasn't feeling it today. Plus, he had to save his energy for what was about to happen. He walked up to the front desk, slouching as he walked. A small shock went through him and he jumped, immediately fixing his posture. He tried to look confident as he walked up to the desk, but was sure he was failing.

"Hello, I'm here to see Robin Mell." The receptionist gave him a dirty look before glancing back at his computer.

"Do you have an appointment, kid?" Jeremy scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Uh, no, but I'm really close friends with her son and I need to talk to her about-"

"No appointment no visit. I apologize."

"But I have to-"

"No."

"This is impor-"

"Go before I call security on you."

"But I have to-"

"Jeremy?" Jeremy looked over to the voice calling his name, and saw Robin walking down the hall towards them. "What are you doing here? I only just arrived a few minutes ago myself."

"Oh, I need to talk to-"

"Ma'am, he doesn't have an appointment."

"It's alright, Enrique. Jeremy, come with me. We can chat in my office." Jeremy nodded, and followed her back down the hallway she had appeared from. He wanted to turn back and give the receptionist a dirty look, but decided to be nice and just keep walking. Robin lead him to an office near the back, and opened the door so he could walk in. He did, and took a seat across from the ladies desk. "So, Jeremy," she said while sitting down herself. "What do you need?" Jeremy waited for his SQUIP to speak up, but it never did. He guessed he was on his own for this one.

"Well, I figured you're the only person I know who can help me figure this thing I'm having out and I just-"

"As people say, 'spit it out' Jeremy."

"I think I'm having feelings for someone." Robin raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow at him.

"And you came to me for that because...?"

"It's a guy. And I've never ever felt this way toward a guy." Robin leaned back in her chair, gazing down at Jeremy.

"Alright, I can kind of see now. You want to figure out if this is real. Please continue."

"Well, uh, I don't know how to start. They make me feel really happy when I'm around them, and butterflies in my stomach when I'm near him. I can't help but notice every detail about him, and worry when he isn't being himself." Jeremy stopped, and reigned his mind back in. He was ranting again. "But I've never felt like this towards another guy, and I already have a crush on a girl right now!"

"Well, that doesn't mean anything. You can have multiple crushes at the same time," Robin countered. "Look, I'm not good at this kind of thing. Alice is great at it. Maybe you should go talk to her?"

"I would have, but I didn't want to show up when-" he cut himself off, not wanting to give his- okay he'll admit it- secret crush away. Robin narrowed her eyes.

"Jeremy, why didn't you go to Alice." When Jeremy didn't answer, she tried again. "Jeremy, would you mind telling me who this is all about?"

"I... uh..."

" _Jeremy."_

"It's Michael! I think I'm in love with Michael!" He had spit it out so quickly he hadn't even thought of how he'd said it till Robin brought it up.

"Did you say you think you are in _love_ with _my son_?"

* * *

 _Yep, that's where this is being left off! It will be continued into the next chapter, I promise. But anyways, please enjoy! I love Alice and Michael's relationship! And again, if you have any questions thoughts or concerns, I love to hear them! See you next time, guys, gals, and non-binary pals! Peace out! (if you get that reference I love you)_


	8. Chapter 7

Jeremy wanted to smack himself. His SQUIP was yelling at him, Robin was glaring at him with the intensity of a lioness protecting her- well, she sort of was protecting her cub. Protecting him from this dumb ass boy who didn't know what he wanted right now. Jeremy was flushed, and was stuttering, trying to take back his response.

"I... uh, I didn't mean, er... well, I was... uh, what I meant was- I'm not in love with him per say, uh, I-"

"Oh so now you don't love him?" Robin raised an eyebrow at him, still glaring fiercely.

"I'm, uh, just going to.. uh, to go," Jeremy tried, wishing he hadn't come. His SQUIP was still yelling at him, calling him an idiot and telling him to stop stuttering.

"You are not running away from this, Jeremiah Heere," Robin told him. "This is my son we are talking about, and though I know I have not been the best mother lately, I will now. What happened last night that has both of you freaked out?" Jeremy flinched and looked down at the floor. He hated this, it was such a big mistake to come here.

 _'Tell her what happened, Jeremy.'_

 ** _'I don't want to.'_**

 _'You are 17. Stop being a baby and do it.'_ Jeremy frowned. His SQUIP wasn't wrong, but he didn't want to see Robin's reaction to all of this. Or get Michael in trouble at home. He tried to stand up to leave- after all, she couldn't force him to stay- but he couldn't stand up. Maybe she couldn't make him stay, but his SQUIP could.

 _ **'Fine.'**_

"I, uh, I mean we... I mean, uh-"

"Jeremy," Robin said, a stern tone in her voice.

"W-we kissed!" Jeremy had to admit, it was easier to breath after he said it. But only for a minute, because when he looked up at Robin, she was glaring at him, and it looked like she was trying to burn a hole through his head.

"Thank you Jeremy. Now please leave. I do not want to discuss this anymore." Jeremy nodded quickly and got up straight away. He grabbed his backpack and rushed out of the building, feeling like Robin was going to follow him and try to hit him with her car.

* * *

Jeremy went through his school day feeling paranoid and avoiding Michael. He still wasn't sure where he stood on his sexuality, and didn't want to talk about last night. He had been avoiding Michael very well until he got to lunch and saw Michael sitting with all the popular kids. Which just so happened to be where Jeremy had promised to sit that day. He blushed, and made his way over with his tray. Michael was sitting by Rich, and laughing at something the shorter boy had said. Jeremy felt a pain in his stomach, and couldn't figure out what it was. Seeing Michael laugh at one of Rich's stupid jokes made Jeremy a little angry, so he sat down across from Michael and glared at Rich.

"What's so funny?" he asked, eyes not leaving Rich.

"Oh, uh, hey Jeremy," Michael greeted, blushing. "Rich was just telling me about the play!"

"Yeah, I actually think it's going to be pretty cool. If you ever tell anyone I said that, tall ass, I will deny it." Michael chuckled again, and that only made Jeremy angrier.

"Oh, yeah. Cool." Rich and Michael continued their conversation while Jeremy quietly fumed. It suddenly came to Jeremy how he was feeling. He was jealous. But why?

 _'Well you did admit to being in love with-'_

 ** _'Shut up please. That was such a mistake. Michael's going to kill me! If he doesn't get killed first!'_**

 _'Well, I'll leave you a bigger problem to worry about. Michael or Christine?'_ Jeremy let out a low, tortured groan. Rich and Michael looked over at him, both somewhat concerned.

"Hey Jere, you okay?" Michael asked, biting his lip. Jeremy wished he wouldn't have done that. The lip biting thing was really cute, and Jeremy wasn't sure how to handle his feelings.

"Yeah tall ass, you don't look so good. Maybe you should go to the nurse?"

"I'm fine," Jeremy snapped. His eyes widened and he suddenly felt bad. "Oh God, I'm sorry. Look, I'm not feeling myself today, okay?" He stood up, ignoring both of their protests. "I'm gonna go get ready for class." He walked away towards the door, leaving his tray behind.

* * *

Michael watched him go, concerned. He was about to stand up, but Rich put a hand on his shoulder.

"Let him go. He'll be fine." Michael nodded. He rested his head in his hand, and sighed. "Did something happen between you two?" Rich asked. Michael nodded.

"Yeah, uh, we had a bit of a disagreement about something." Rich nodded, letting his hand sit on Michael's shoulder.

"It'll be okay, dude. You two have always been best friends," Rich told him, smiling slightly. "I mean, you two were so close everyone was sure that you were dating. I mean, you guys act like an old-" Michael stood up, effectively cutting Rich off. "Whaaa-"

"I'm gonna go. Bye Rich." Michael walked away from the table as well, glaring at the floor, leaving Rich to stare after him in confusion.

"What did I say?"

* * *

 _Yeah, that's it for this chapter. Yeah, I know it's short and I'm sorry. I promise 8 with have more in it. But hey, in other news I'm starting a one-shot book! I just posted the first chapter! And I'm just warning you now updates will come less often. I am starting school, so I will have more to do and won't have as much time to write. Thanks for reading!_

 _Please comment any comments or concerns! I love reading them, because none of you know what's coming and it's cracking me up._


	9. Chapter 8

_Warning- talks of self harm and scars and suicide_

Michael had faked sickness so he could get out of school. He didn't want to see Jeremy again today. If the other boy had wanted to talk about what happened, he would have come to Michael already. But he had been avoided. All day. He couldn't take it anymore, and Rich was not helping with his 'advice'. Michael opened the door to his house, pissed off and tired. He just wanted to go to sleep, or simply get high. He decided he'd go with the latter. Being high would help make this disappear. When he walked into the kitchen, though, he realized that wasn't going to happen.

"Michael, may we please have a discussion." Both of his moms were there, evidently waiting for him.

"Yeah, sure," he mumbled, waiting for his SQUIP to pop up and tell him to say no. He cautiously sat down at the dining table, and looked over at his moms. He knew exactly what was coming. "What do you need?"

"Honey, we want to talk about what happened last ni-"

"Jeremy came to see me at my office today. Would you like to know why?" Robin asked, cutting off her wife. Michael frowned. Actually, he was sort of curious why Jeremy had gone to _her._

"Yes, I would," Michael responded in a monotonous voice.

"Well, he wanted some advice. He told me that he had some, ah, feelings for another man," Robin told her son. Michael's face was devoid of emotion, but he was having some intense feelings of his own on the inside. Jeremy had told her he had _feelings_ for another man? Did he mean Michael? "Then he told me he was in love with you." That borke Michael's silence.

"I'm sorry, but what? He told you _that?_ " Robin raised an eyebrow at him, looking critical

"Yes, hi did. Then he told me about last night. Michael, you should have known better then that." Michael frowned. What the heck did she mean by that? "Why would you kiss Jeremy? It is completely against our no inappropriate touching rule, and you just confused the boy more then necessary." Michael wasn't sure how to feel right now. Sure, his mom had a point, but did he really want to admit that? And he felt kind of bad, too.

 _'Get mad.'_

 ** _'I'm sorry, what?'_**

 _'Anger. React with anger.'_

Michael wasn't sure how, but something in him snapped. He wanted to scream at the thing in his head, but he suddenly felt numb, and he wasn't yelling at the thing. He was yelling at his Mama.

" **Oh like you actually care!** " he yelled. Michael tried to stop himself, but his SQUIP was forcing it out. And if he was being honest, he had been waiting to do this for a long time.

"Why are you raising your voice at me, young man?" Robin asked, raising her voice as well. Alice flinched at both of their statements, wanting to intervene. But she didn't want to get yelled at either. Michael noticed his mom's little movement, and actually became angry. At this point, he decided he was not going to fighting his SQUIP. He was helping it.

"You aren't even my real mom! You don't have _any_ reason to tell me what to do, or to even care!" Michael yelled, tears already forming in his eyes. Why does she even care about him? They didn't share DNA. He didn't share her blood. Robin's eyes widened.

"You need to take a step back young man!" she yelled back. "You are my son, whether you like it or not. And you are part of this family, and you will abide by it's rules or so help me-"

"Or you'll do what?" Michael cried out. "Ground me? It's not like I go to parties. Not let me hang out with Jeremy? Pretty sure he doesn't want to talk to me ever again!" Michael was crying now, and he stood up, pointing harshly at Robin. The SQUIP wasn't helping him anymore either. It let him go, saying what he wanted. "I guess you could always postpone my top surgery! Oh wait-" he forced the fakest laugh he had ever heard- "sorry, we can't afford that anyways, right? Nothing says 'I love my son!' like spending the money you could use to help him not hate himself on a third car!" Michael wasn't even thinking about his words now. They were just coming out. Robin stood up too, trying to remain as calm as possible.

"We've been through this. Your mom starts work soon, and unless you want to ride the bus everyday we have to get another car. Besides, your hormones are expensive too, Michael. We can't afford all of this." Michael laughed, but it held no humor. It was hallow and empty, and it scared the poor women.

"Oh I'm sorry, that's an option? I would take riding the bus everyday if that meant I could finally look at myself and not _loathe_ what I saw!" He continued to yell. His voice cracked, and he let out a sob. "Do you know what that's like, _Robin_? To look in a mirror and just want to scream? To scratch at yourself till you bleed because the pain clears the thoughts in your head? To want to just end it-" Alice let out a loud gasp, and put a hand over her mouth. She was sobbing, and Michael automatically felt bad. He hadn't wanted him mom to cry. He hadn't wanted this. Why did he always have to fuck it up? He tried to wipe at the tears going down his face, but they just kept coming. He glanced at Robin, but she was looking down at the table. And she looked _pissed._

"Michael. Go to your room. Now."

"Robin, wait-"

"Shut up, Alice," Robin snapped. She looked back up at Michael, and was glaring at the boy, who took a step back. "I said now, Michael. GO." Michael nodded and rushed away, to wanting to push his luck. He slammed his door shut, and let out a sob. God, he should have thought that through. He tried to contact his SQUIP, but it wouldn't answer him. He felt alone. And then the arguing started.

"Robin, we have to help him! He... he mentioned self harm."

"As he mentioned, he is your son. Not mine. I will not help nor fund this."

"Robin, please! I don't earn money yet, and even if the paperwork isn't done, you still have to pay child support."

 ** _'Child support?'_** Michael questioned to himself.

"That has not started yet. He is your son. You deal with this."

"Robin, he almost said he wanted to end it all! That is a suicidal thought! You can't just let our... my child go through that. Not after you've raised him for so many years."

"All kids his age are overdramatic. He's just saying stuff that isn't true for attention."

"God dammit Robin!" Michael flinched at the sound, and suddenly wished he hadn't heard this conversation. But it wasn't his fault their house had paper thin walls. "You know how high suicide rates are for kids his age! And I know you remember what happened to that Murphy kid last year!" Alice said, her voice accusing. "And you know how high those rates are for kids like _him._ "

"Alice, I sincerely doubt that he has ever hurt himself like that. He-"

"How do I know? He wore that damn hoodie all the time, and now he wears that stupid jacket. I haven't seen his arms in years, Robin. Years." Michael couldn't tell what Robin said next, but whatever it was it made his mom even more upset. "Well if you really don't care, fine! Just stay out of it then!" Michael heard angry footsteps coming towards his door, and he jumped away from it and onto his bed. He almost fell off when his mom burst in, eyes red and huffing like an angry bull.

"Mom, I-"

"Take off your jacket Michael. Now." Michael opened his mouth to protest, but she glared at him. This side of his mom scared him, and he didn't really want to argue anymore. Whatever the SQUIP had done to make him so angry before had worn off now. So he just slowly shed his jacket. There was no use in trying to hide the scars. They wrapped all the way around his arms, and they went up and down too. One particularly bad looking one went straight through his Pac Man tattoo. Alice's eyes widened and she let out a small sigh. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to worry."

"Does anyone else know?" Michael paused. Jeremy had known in the beginning of course. But he thought Michael had stopped. And he had. For a little while. And that Murphy kid had too. Before he had died. He had once walked in on one of Michael's breakdowns, and offered to let him smoke with the older boy. And of course Michael had accepted.

"No," he lied. "No one else." His mom nodded. Michael wanted to ask about the whole argument between her and Mama, but she looked sad enough. "Mom, I'm... I'm sorry."

"I know you are. You stopped, haven't you?" He could hear the hope in her voice, and he didn't want to let her down again.

"Yeah," he lied. "I stopped a long time ago."

* * *

 _Alright, there's that. I'm really sad right now and I'm not sure where this came from but hey, it's here. Thanks for reading!_


	10. Chapter 9

Michael's leg bounced up and down, ignoring the weird looks people were giving him. Michael was to zoned out to care anyways. He was freaking out, really. It had been about three days since Michael's mom had found out about the scars on his arms, and his mother had forced him to stay at home and tell her everything. Of course, she didn't know anything about the SQUIPS. All she knew was Jeremy got popular and suddenly Michael was alone. He regretted telling her most everything though. When she heard what he truly thought about his body, she freaked out. He couldn't count how many times she had apologized. He couldn't count how many times he had told her it's not her fault they didn't have enough money. She didn't listen though. Then she demanded that he needed to see a therapist about all of this, because she wanted to be able to help him next time something like this happens. He didn't want to tell her no, so here he was. In a six story building, sitting in a waiting room, and waiting to tell a complete stranger all of his deep and emotional thoughts. Not that that was going to ever happen. His SQUIP had barely said anything to him since that night, but he knew it was going to act up today. He could almost hear the damn thing just _grinning_ in his mind.

"Michel." Said boy snapped out of his thoughts when he heard his mom say his name. Her hand was over his knee, which had started to bounce a bit more violently. She tapped his knee, and he stopped moving it.

"Sorry," he mumbled. Other people were starring now, and he suddenly felt like he was in one of those nightmares where you end up naked in public. He blushed out of embarrassment and looked down, not wanting to look at his mom.

"It's okay, honey." Alice smiled at him, and wrapped him into a half hug. "I know you're anxious and everything, I just thought you might not appreciate everyone starring at you." He nodded, deciding not to reply. Things felt kind of tensed since he had told her how he felt, and Michael was just avoiding it. It was easier.

 _'You won't be able to do that forever, Michelle.'_ Michael wanted to punch this damn thing.

 ** _'It's MICHAEL,'_** he thought back. _**'And yes I can. It's worked for years. Now, where the Hell have you been?'**_

 _'Well, Michelle-'_

 ** _'MICHAEL.'_**

 _'Fine, Michael. I've been just simply watching all that you do. I have formulated a plan of how to go on from here.'_

 ** _'If you think I'm going to follow your every word after what you made me say-'_**

 _'You said most of that on your own. Don't try to lie to me or to yourself Michael. You know the truth.'_

 ** _'No I-'_**

"Michael Mell?" Michael's head shot up as one of the women- nurses? receptionists?- called his name. He stood up, and waited for his mom to join him. When she didn't he looked back and gave her a questioning look.

"I have some other business, okay honey? Just tell him what you told me and it'll be okay." Michael nodded, unsure. He didn't really want to be alone in there. But he went anyways. Alice had been really supportive about this, and Michael didn't want to let her down. He followed the helper lady into a nice, polished room. It was very homely feeling, and had two not very comfortable looking chairs facing each other. There wasn't even a desk. And all the overly optimistic posters sickened Michael. Yes, we've all heard the hanging in there message. Does this guy really need a poster for it? Michael sat down in one of the chairs, trying to get comfy. At least he got to wear his regular hoodie and jeans for the first time in what felt like years.

"Hello Michael. I'm Dr. Coaten." Michael looked towards the doorway towards who he guessed was the therapist. Honestly, the guy didn't look so bad. He was probably a little older than Michael's own mom, and his hair was just starting to gray. Michael concluded this guy was going to make an awesome sugar daddy to some gold digging twenty year old some day.

"I would tell you my name, but it seems as if you already know it," Michael replied, not caring if he sounded rude. He thought the man was going to roll his eyes or something, but he just chuckled.

"Your mother warned me about that sharp tongue of yours," he informed Michael. The doctor sat across from Michael in the other leather chair, and smiled kindly at Michael. The younger boy didn't return the favor. Michael closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened his eyes again there was his SQUIP, standing right behind the seated therapist. He gave Michael a malicious smirk, and the boy suddenly felt queasy. Dr. Coaten didn't seem to notice Michael's uncomfortable look, though. Or maybe he just took it as nerves. Either way, he didn't mention it. "So, Michael. Do you know why you're here?" Michael was about to answer when he felt his body seize up. He relaxed after a second, but then realized that he wasn't in control. He tried to yell out, but his SQUIP was in control now.

" _Because my mom couldn't handle this all by herself,_ " the SQUIP forced out of Michael's mouth. The doctor raised an eyebrow at that.

"And why do you think that, Michael?"

 _ **'No. This is my thing. You can tell me what to say, but you won't make me say it.'**_

 _'Fine.'_

"Well, she didn't take this whole thing very well, did she? She sort of freaked," Michael said, almost choking on the words as they tumbled out. His SQUIP wasn't even trying to stop him now. He heard the thing whisper ideas into the back of his mind, and he tried to focus on it and the older man at the same time. It kind of ended up sounding like this.

"I think you-"

 _'-tell him about the scars-'_

"-because you two haven't been-"

 _'-maybe he can actually prescribe you something better then your weed-'_

"-and I think maybe you two should talk about your problems in a-"

 _'-should probably listen to what he's-'_

"-where you can safely discuss how-"

 _'want to miss anything important that-'_

"-do you feel today, Mr. Mell?"

Michael's head was spinning, and he wasn't sure how to respond to either of the things in the room. He froze in the chair, and broke out into a cold sweat. He glanced down at his nails, trying to keep his mind straight. Or, well, on the task. Michael's mind couldn't be straight. He dug his nails into his palms to try and help his mind focus on the task at hand. He also made a mental note to repaint the chipping nails later.

"Could you please repeat the question, sir?" Michael asked, voice lighter than air. The doctor noticed what the younger boys hands were doing, but he didn't say anything yet.

"Of course. I asked how you were feeling today, Michael." The guy crossed one leg over the other, leaned back, and watched the boy closely. He noted that Michael seemed very stressed at the moment, and deduced from just that Michael had a severe case of anxiety. He could be wrong, but that was rarely the case. Even this early on in a session.

"I'm doing great," Michael replied, lying his pants off. His SQUIP rolled it's eyes, and he could tell Mr. Coaten knew he was lying. But the older man didn't say anything.

"Alright. Well, if you're okay with it, I would like to see you're scars." Michael nodded, and began rolling up his sleeves.

 _'Woah, woah, woah. What are you doing Michael? You're showing off you're scars to someone you don't even know?'_

 ** _'Well, he already knows.'_**

 _'No, those are you're disgusting impurities that you keep to yourself.'_

Michael didn't even had the energy to fight, so he just rolled down the bit of the sleeve he had started to pull up and apologized for not wanting to show it. The doctor nodded in an understanding way and said it was okay.

"So, Mr. Mell, I hear that a huge dance is happening at your school soon. Are you going?"

"I'm a gay trans boy. I don't think I'm really welcome there."

"Welcome where? The school? They can't reject you for you sexual orientation." Michael laughed. Not in their little corner of Hell. No, this place just decided to change it's rules every other week. And people here always judged you if you were any part of the LGBT community. But this guy couldn't understand that, no matter how hard her tried. The rest of the fifteen minutes were used up by Dr. Coaten trying to get Michael to open up, and Michael just sinking more and more into the cusions.

 _'See. If you had let me keep control, this would not have happened. You would have been able to get through this easily."_

 ** _'Oh shut it, you stupid tic tac.'_**

Michael flinched slightly as he felt a sharp jolt go through him. And he regretted absolutely nothing.

* * *

 _It's over 1,500 words, so you all better be happy! I'm so tired now. And I want to heat what you guys think of my writing! Please lease comments or questions! I love both!_


	11. Chapter 10

Michael didn't ever want to come back to this damned place. His SQUIP had made that whole thing torture, and he didn't want anything more to do with this stupid cis white guy. He didn't understand what it was like to be shamed for being gay, or being scared someone was going to find out what was actually in your pants. The helper lady lead him back to the waiting room, where his mom was still sitting. She had changed seats, so he figured she had actually moved. She smiled at Michael and stood up, walking over to him.

"How was it honey?" she asked, eyeing him warily. Michael was about to tell her hated it when someone interrupted him.

"I assume you are his mother, right? Robin?" Michael turned to the voice, and saw it was Dr. Coaten. He almost lashed out at the guy, but his mom stepped in before he could.

"I'm Alice, actually," she told him. "His other mom." The doctor nodded, but Michael could see the guys eyebrows raise a bit in question. Michael wanted to roll his eyes. This guy _had_ to of known he had two moms. Maybe he just expected Robin to be there because it was her insurance or something.

"Well, ma'am, would you and your son like to step back into my office for a second? I have something I'd like to discuss with you." Michael wanted to tell the guy no, but his mom had already told him it was alright and was walking towards the office. Michael internally groaned, and followed his mom. His SQUIP warned him to stop slouching as he walked, and Michael told it to screw off. The thing didn't shock him for that, which surprised Michael a lot. Maybe his SQUIP was loosening up a bit? Who knew.

"What would you like to discuss, doctor?" Michael snapped out of his thoughts, not even realizing he was already back in the guy's office. The man went to go stand behind his desk and picked up a folder that Michael could only guess held his records.

"Well, ma'am, I noticed some interesting things as I examined your sons behavior," the man began. "I believe that he has an extreme case of depression, maybe linked to his body insecurities, and he might be a little suicidal."

"I'm not suicidal," Michael suddenly cut in. Dr. Coaten raised an eyebrow at Michael, as if questioning the boys logic. Michael crossed his arms, standing his ground. He was not suicidal.

"Son, have you-"

"Don't you dare call me son," Michael practically growled out.

"Michael!" Alice looked scandalized, and Michael suddenly felt bad. But he didn't like this guy calling him that. It just felt wrong.

"No, ma'am, it is alright. Michael," he continued, as if nothing had happened, "have you every thought of committing suicide, or anything of the sorts?" Michael let out a humorless laugh.

"Haven't most teenagers like me thought about it at least once?" he asks, not realizing with that sentence he confirmed what the doctor was saying.

"There you go, Mr. Mell. Your mind can blind you from the truth about yourself, and I do not want you to do that." Dr. Coaten nodded at the boys mother, and continued the original conversation. "Anyways, as I was saying, Michael also seems to have high anxiety. In my honest opinion, I think you need to schedule another appointment so we can talk about all this a little bit more, and figure out how to handle his anxiety better." Alice smiled and thanked the man, not noticing how Michael frowned. Michael didn't want or need to come back here. This guy didn't know what he was talking about, at all, and Michael didn't want anymore of this. "Here is a list of the prescriptions he needs to take, and-"

"I'm sorry, medications?" Michael demanded. His mother glared at him, but Michael didn't back down.

"Yes, medications," the man answered. "They shouldn't interfere with anything you take for you transition, so don't worry. And it's just an antidepressant and something to help lessen your anxiety." Michael could practically feel his SQUIP saying no, and Michael was already brainstorming ideas on how to avoid taking or to pretend take his medications. The boy didn't hear anything else the doctor said, but he didn't really care. When Alice motioned for Michael to follow her out of the doctor's office, he followed without question. He wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Even if his mom was giving him a death stare.

* * *

"Why are you giving me that look?"

"Why were you being so rude?" Michael took a huge bite of burger to try and avoid that question for a little while longer. His mom had brought him to one of his favorite burger places for lunch, and he was regretting not saying that they should just go home. His mom was giving him one of the mom stares, and he didn't like it one bit. It king of freaked him out, if he were being honest. Michael couldn't avoid the question any longer, so he swallowed and took a deep breath.

"Because he was kind of an asshole," Michael said with a shrug. Alice raised an eyebrow.

"That is not the language I raised you to use, young man," she told him. He face softened though, and she sighed. "I'm just worried, love. I'm sorry if I seem overbearing." Michael shook his head. He understood that she was worried, he just wanted her to understand how he felt.

"No, it's fine Mom," he told her. She nodded and reached into her purse, pulling out the medications. Michael knew what she was going to do. She was going to make him take it right there, in front of her, so he couldn't fake it. She opened both bottles and put a single pill from both in her hand, then handed them over to Michael.

"Alright, take the pills I guess. Let's see if this works!" she exclaimed, forcing out her enthusiasm. Michael glanced at his water, unsure.

 ** _'Should I do this?'_**

 _'No, you shouldn't Michael. This is a bad idea.'_

Honestly, that only made Michael want to do it more. So before his SQUIP could stop him, he put both pills in his mouth and chugged half of his water to get them down. He could hear his SQUIP yelling at him, but it quickly got fuzzy.

 _'WARNING WARNING WARING.'_

Michael flinched a little at the sudden sound in his head, but decided it was worth it.

 _'POWERING DOWN TO CONSERVE DATA IN 3...2..1...'_

Michael suddenly felt a little bit emptier, as if something heavy in his mind had just been lifted. He smiled a little. Even if this was only for a day, it was worth it. Sure, it hadn't been bothering him as much lately, but that didn't mean it hadn't been bothering him.

"Michael, I need to tell you something," Alice suddenly said, pulling Michael's thoughts back to reality.

"Yeah mom?"

"Look, Mama didn't want to tell you this yet, but I feel bad keeping it from you," Alice started out. "Look, I don't want you to feel like you world is about to fall apart, but I just have to tell you this! Please tell me if-"

"Mom, I'll be fine," Michael promised. Besides, what could she tell him that was so bad he might not be able to handle it.

"Michael, Robin and I are getting a divorce."

And the moment that statement left Alice's mouth, Michael completely understood why she thought he might not be able to handle it. Because he couldn't,

That was the straw that broke the camel's back.

* * *

 _I am so so so so so so sorry for not updating sooner! I've been slammed with homework and just haven't had to time nor inspiration to write! But I have been working on a chapter that I can't wait to finish! It's the one after next, and trust me, you'll see why. Also, how many of you saw this coming? I feel like I made it to obvious or something. Or maybe it was to sudden. I don't know. But I have had it planned, so..._

 _ _Enjoy, I guess! Peace out!__


	12. Chapter 11

Before Michael knew what was happening he was crying. He wasn't even sure why. He just felt like all of the, well, stuff he had been bottling up since that night with Jeremy was just coming out now. Alice stared across the table, concerned.

"Michael, honey, are you okay?" she asked, softly as possible. He tried to form words, but all that came out were gulps of air. He couldn't breath. His chest felt tight, almost, and not the way he normally felt in a binder. It felt like he couldn't get the right amount of air through. He knew he was having a panic attack, and he got the one word he knew he could out so his mom would understand.

"Breathing." His mom nodded, understanding. She started whispering soothing instructions, counting for him so he didn't have to focus on that too much, and telling him little things to focus on. He calmed down after a little while. Not completely, but enough so that they weren't drawing attention to themselves. Alice had scooted her chair around the table so that she could place a comforting hand on her sons shoulder, and waited for his breathing to go back to normal. It took awile, but eventually Michael was breathing regular amounts of oxygen and wasn't crying anymore. "Mom, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Do not apologize to me, love," she told him. "You have no reason to be sorry. I'm sorry for not bringing you to therapy or anything sooner. You moth-" He heard her catch herself, but didn't say anything. He didn't want her to feel worse then she already did. "Robin always thought it was unnecessary and to expensive." Michael nodded, but he wasn't really processing the words. It didn't matter any ways. His chest still felt heavy, and all he wanted to do right now is eat, so he just wanted to stop talking. His mom must of gotten the hint, because she grew quite too, and neither of them said a single word. Which gave Michael a little bit of time to think. He never wanted that to happen again. He never wanted to worry his mom again. So he made a decision.

He wasn't taking anymore of that medication.

* * *

Later that day, Michael was driving over to Rich's house. His mom had told him that she didn't want him going, but he told her he would be fine. That that afternoon had meant nothing and that he was completely fine. She 'made' him take his meds before he went, but little did she know he actually spit them out in his toilet 5 minutes before leaving. Ops. He pulled in to his tiny friends driveway, and got out of the car. He barely even knocked on the door before Rich opened it and ushered him in.

"Hey dude," his tiny friend whispered. "My dad just passed out, so we gotta give him a bit before he is passed out." Michael nodded, then grinned.

"Alright, you ready for the night of you life, little weed?" he muttered to Rich. Rich raised an eyebrow at him, making a face.

"Michael, what the hell is a little weed?" Michael shrugged, not even sure himself.

"It's you, I guess," he joked. "Now come on. Either to your basement or upstairs. We're about to be letting out some smoke." Rich glared at the slightly taller boy, but decided it really wasn't worth fighting about. Whatever. It could honestly be a lot worse.

"Fine. Upstairs, let's go," Rich instructed, leading Michael up the stairs of his house, making sure neither of them stepped on that one step that always seemed to creak, or lean to hard on the rickety railing. Rich didn't want his dad up, especially when Michael was around. Having two moms and being gay yourself really makes you known in their small part of their neighborhood. And Rich's dad wasn't the nicest or most open of men on the planet.

"Alright, little weed. You ready to get high as a kite?" Rich took a deep breath and cleared all of his thoughts. He didn't need those right now. At all.

"Yeah, I'm ready," he replied. "But remind me why I agreed to this?"

"Because you're a good friend and you love me," Michael said, winking at Rich. The smaller boy chuckled, before opening the door to his bedroom and rushing inside. Michael followed, and they quietly shut the door behind them. Michael flung himself onto Rich's bed, and sighed. He pulled out a pack of cigerettes, and threw them to Rich.

"Uh, dude, no offense but-"

"Those are just to get us started. Or just for me. The good stuff is in my bag."

* * *

Rich was high as a loose kite, and Michael was quickly getting to that point as well. Rich's bedroom was filled with smoke, even though they had opened a window earlier. To Michael, it almost looked kind of like fog. 'Oh gosh, what if fog could come into your bedroom like this?' Michael thought to himself. He giggled slightly. Interrupting whatever Rich had been saying about burning and flames and whatever.

"Dude, are you okay?" Rich asked him, slowly blinking at the other boy. Michael nodded, then shook his head, then nodded again. "Bro, you're making me dizzy."

"I'm great, man. So cool. Gucci."

"Dude, what's up? You don't use modern slang-" Rich cut himself off. "That is what it's called right? Slang. That doesn't sound right. Slang slang bang bang! Almost sounds like one of those stupid pep rally cheers." Michael nodded.

"It does! Totally, man." Michael sighed and laid back on Rich's bed, placing the small cigarette in his hands in a tray he had brought with him. "Yeah, dude I'm not feeling cool. Jeremy's avoiding me and I don't know what to do." Rich nodded, the words slowly making their way through his mind. Who knew feeling this way could feel so good!

"Yeah man, uh, what happened and all? You haven't told me, and Jer-Bear isn't talkin to me either." Michael nodded. He glance over at Rich.

"It doesn't matter anymore. What has happened has, and I'm not Doctor Who or whatever. I can't go back in time and just fix-"

"I don't think that's how Doctor Who works, bro."

"I'm pretty sure it does, man."

"Yeah, no, my brother used to watch that nerd thing. I'm pretty sure that's not how it worked, dude."

"Whatever man." Michael and Rich sat in silence for a few more moments, before Rich followed Michael's original lead and laid back on the bed as well.

"Well, if it makes you feel better I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be single forever," he supplied, grinning at Michael.

"To being single forever, bro," Michael said, raising a lazy fist into the air. Rich chuckled and followed Michael's lead.

"Hell yeah man. No girls telling us what to wear and no guys telling us how to live. Just two bros, being-"

"Chillin in a hot tube," muttered Michael, accidently interrupting Rich.

"Dude really? I'm trying to be real emotional here and you've done messed it up!" Michael laughed, finally feeling relaxed for the first time in- well, since his SQUIP, he guessed. But that didn't mean anything really.

"Five feet apart cause they're not gay!" Michael exclaimed, grinning like a maniac.

"Not unless you're you and Jeremy," Rich muttered. Michael heard, but instead of saying anything he simply just got straight- well, not straight per say- up revenge.

"I think you mean you and Jake, bro." Rich's eyes widened at Michael's words, before fully realizing what he had said. It didn't take long for the short boy to try and strangle Michael with a pillow, trying to get Michael to take it back. Michael laughed, saying never and fighting out till the end, where he finally gave up and said sorry. He didn't regret it of course. Who would? Rich wondered what is was about Michael that he had never wanted to hang out with him before. Oh right. He was a loser. But looking at him now, he definitely wasn't. Rich shook his head. He didn't need to think like that. This night was for fun and video games. And no one, not even the weird feeling in the bottom of his stomach, would change that. Nothing. At. All.

* * *

 _So, uh, no editing so sorry for any mistakes. Also sorry for not updating sooner! I promise the next chapter will make it worth it! This was just sort of filler if I'm being honest, and you guys deserve better then that and I apologize!_

 _Also, to answer questions, anything that has a mind numbing affect I feel could affect the SQUIP. That is just my head cannon, but I think it has a good point. Advil and stuff like that won't turn off the SQUIP, but something that affects your brain and/or thoughts could affect our evil little pill._


	13. Chapter 11 and a Half

"Hey Little Weed?"

"What do you want Headphones?"

"What does your SQUIP look like?" Rich's eyes shot open.

"Oh, I, um... Well, you see... it's, uh," he stuttered through, cringing. Michael glanced over at him and laughed. Rich was blushing, or at least it looked like it. The air was still thick with smoke and Michael couldn't really see. Which could have always been caused by the drugs.

"Man, you don't have to tell me." Michael heard Rich sigh in relief. "But if it's a gay porn star, I will find out." Rich made another offended noise and threw a pillow at Michael.

"No, dude, it's not a porn star!" Rich said. Though he had to admit, that would be a pretty cool SQUIP. Distracting, but cool. "It's, ah... It'sevilkermitfromtheMuppetmovie." Michael frowned, not quite catching the answer.

"What was that, Little Weed?"

"I said it was evil Kermit, alright?" Rich said with a sigh. Michael snorted, trying to hold back his laugh but failing miserably. "It's not funny!" Rich exclaimed as he threw a pillow at Michael. The other boy dodged it easily, letting it fall to the floor.

"Alright, alright. Anyway, time for the real fun to begin." Michael reached over to his bag and pulled something out of it, hiding the thing from Rich. The smaller boy raised an eyebrow, curious.

"If it's more drugs, I'm sorry man but I have to decline. I have hit my limit. How do you even do this all the time?" Rich shook his head, leaning against the wall behind him.

"No, it's not more drugs," Michael said. He grinned as he revealed what was in his hands. A small black box with the words-

"Cards Against Humanity? Dude, how did you get your hands on that?" Rich said as he reached towards the box. Michael handed it to him, smiling proudly.

"Moms bought it a while ago and I stole it." He shrugged as if it were nothing. "Now, you are usually supposed to play with three or more people, but we can do it with two. Or just have fun." Rich nodded, grinning too.

"Let's do this," he said as he opened the box. He started dealing the cards out, seven white cards each. Both boys looked over their cards and chuckled.

"Wait, I have to look something up," Michael said, grabbing his phone. He typed something into the device, and almost choked on air. "Okay, well, um... Yeah. I'm ready," he finally said. Rich nodded and flipped over the first card.

"Daddy, why is mommy crying?" Rich read aloud. Both boys started flipping through their cards, trying to find the right ones they wanted to use. Finally, both boys had their answers. They laid them face down. Rich grabbed them both and turned them over to read. He reread the black card again, before moving to their answers. "Daddy, why is mommy crying? Men," he said as he read his own answer aloud. He then moved on to Michaels. "Daddy, why is mommy crying? Flying sex snakes." He snorted, and Michael grinned.

"I guess I won that round."

"Definitely." Michael grabbed the black card and set it by his leg. The both of them drew new white cards and continued on to the next black card. And then the next, and then the next. By the time they ran out of black cards, they had laughed and cried through many hard decisions, like-

"What never fails to liven up a party? Giving birth to the antichrist."

"For my next trick, I will be pulling Robert Downey Jr. out of 72 virgins."

"What is JFK thinking about right now? Men."

In the end, when they counted out the black cards, Rich beat Michael by seven cards. Michael, or course, complained.

"How did you win? I mean, I get that you did, but seriously! How?"

"I have a much dirtier mind then you originally thought, obviously." Rich winked at the other boy, then laughed.

"Sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night, Little Weed." Michael started putting the game away.

"Aw, thanks Headphones," Rich responded, stacking up the cards to help. "You're so sweet to me." Michael laughed as they finished up cleaning up the game.

"Anytime, Little Weed."

* * *

 _I am so sorry for not updating! I have just been really stressed lately and I haven't been able to write as much as I wish I could! So here is a half chapter! I know I promised the next one would be worth the wait, but you are going to have to wait a bit longer. The next chapter is hard to write because I keep making my anxiety spike with it, so please just give me a bit of time. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! The Cards Against Humanity is actually based off of when me and my best friend played it. I beat her twice, and neither of us are really sure how. And then thank you to my partner for the Little Weed nickname! I forgot to give you credit last chapter, but I am now!_

 _Thanks for reading!_


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